It feels kind of like giving a voice to the thoughts and feelings inside and sending them out to the silence to see what might come back... (heellloooo out there.....)
I named this blog "Musing of a Crazy Girl", well, for a couple of reasons... but the number one reason is that pretty much my whole life I've felt a little crazy on the inside.... What do I mean by crazy? Well, a little bipolar for one! (lol) And then everything I've ready about Borderline Personality Disorder seems to fit me pretty well too...
I've never received a diagnosis or anything... just done a lot of reading... and done a lot of meditation and work on self-awareness. Always trying to be a better person and always feelings like I never quite measure up...
Like I said, I've pretty much felt a little crazy my whole life. Always, slightly out of sync with the people around me, always trying to fit in, belong, just be one of the 'gang'... mostly it works from an external view, I guess, I mean in general people seem to like me pretty well and don't seem to think I'm too weird... but inside I always feel the friction between how I really feel and how to just be a normal person...
I know is there really such a thing as a 'normal person'? I don't really know, and I'm sure I'm way too hard on myself, and expect too much of myself... but where does that feeling of somehow being wrong/off/out-of-kilter/crazy on the inside come from... 'cause it never really goes away no matter what I do...
I'm sure my history plays into that feeling.... but that's a blog for another day...
No comments:
Post a Comment